Confessionals.

Maybe it's because the year is ending, and I'm craving a new start. Or maybe it's because my mom is away in Mexico so I don't have her to be my springboard to vent. Or maybe I just can't come up with any other blog idea and I've had a glass of wine and this sounds good?

But, here are a few things I thought about getting off of my chest from 2012

 

-I like California more than I ever thought that I would. I knew I needed an adventure, and to leave my comfort zone, but I never thought that I would fall so head over heels for this state. I like the slower pace, the sunshine, the mountains, and the ocean.

-But, with the year that I've had, I sometimes wonder if I love California so much because it's been escape from a tough reality. A reality in which I don't really want to face.

-I'm truly addicted to getting  manicures. I feel like I have to have one every two weeks or I start to feel seriously out of whack.

-I haven't taken a shower in months. I'm a strictly bath kinda girl. And I'm actually a 2x/day bath kind of girl. I wake up in the bath, and I start my bedtime routine in the bath. It's a little geriatric, but, I don't really care.

-I haven't eaten "white" carbs in about 22 days. I was hoping I was going to lose like 10 pounds, but that didnt happen (update to come later this week), but I do have far less stomach aches and have been feeding my body - and Joels - so much healthier. Our grocery bills have gone up about $30 a week, but I'm cooking almost 5 nights a week.

-I can't eat chicken. In March I tried to make chicken salad wraps and put the cooked chicken into a blender (per the directions) to mash it up, and ever since then....it's been over between us.

-I love hotel bars. There is something so sexy and romantic about having a drink or two there.

-I drink wine 6 nights a week. It makes me nervous that I drink too much sometimes. I'm only 24, so I know it's not that big of a deal to have 2 glasses of wine on a Tuesday, and Joel and I don't do "O bombs" on the weekend, so it probably evens out, but drinking - as much as it relaxes me, sometimes gives me anxiety.

-The only blogs that capture my attention are "real life" blogs. Blogs that tell real life. I don't like blogs about girls who play dress up, or copy pictures that I've seen on pintrest a million times. My favorites are: Sarah (my BBF), Natasha, Natalie, Andee, and Kelly.

-Speaking of anxiety, I sometimes wonder how I'm going to be able to have kids one day.  I carry so much anxiety about my family's well being, and Joel's well being, and even my dogs well being, I don't even know how I'm going to be able to handle a little thing that is my own flesh and blood. After this tragedy in Newtown, it seems safer sometimes to just sit alone at home

-Christmas music and country music are the only two stations allowed in my car

-On that note, I only see and read happy movies and books. My constant excuse is that "I don't need the extra drama in my life". In college, my roommate would all huddle together to watch Grey's Anatomy and I would hide away in my bedroom. If they tied me into a chair, the next day I would be convinced I had whatever ailment the actor died of the night before.

-Joel and I are in love with each other, of course, but we have never, ever loved something together as much as we love our puppy Roscoe. We are beyond obsessed with him, send each other pictures, talk about his poop, stare at him while he sleeps, and so many other creepy things that I'm starting to worry about our sanity as a couple.

-I leave for Mexico, and I can't wait to spend 8 days straight with my parents and sister. I just wish my other sister Hannah was able to be there, but she is living and working in Barcelona, Spain - so I don't feel too awful!

-I bought my first even tankini (since I was like 13) to wear in Mexico. Not sure if this is happy or sad moment.

-Wedding planning is not exactly what I imagined. I'm not sure if it's because I'm removed from my family and bridesmaids, but it often feels more like a chore. I hate the idea of spending these buckets of money, on one day, and constantly thinking that it's still not enough.

-I love to go to the movie theatre. Mainly, I love to go alone. When I worked in an office in Chicago, I would take a day off every quarter to have a "me" day. Besides sleeping in, and doing some shopping, I always went to see a movie alone. As soon as I get back from Mexico I'm going to see "This is 40". I may even brave the crowds on Jan. 1st!

-I wonder how I lived without Pintrest. Ever recipe I cook comes from that site, I take the computer into my room to plan outfits, and I use the handy ideas all the flipping time. It eats up about 4 hours of my time every week.

-I'm borderline obsessed with Kathy Lee & Hoda

-I am a mega nester. I like the house to be our little oasis, our safe place, our comfort - and I mainly do it for Joel, although I do need it too. I like to think about him sitting at his office after a long day, looking forward to coming home to this clean, cozy house, with a warm dinner waiting and me and Roscoe happy and ready to see him. I think it's probably one of the greatest pleasures of my life....which semi concerns me.

-I'm not a fan of planes, even though that's the industry my fiance works in.  I don't like take off, but I've gotten better. Virgin America is my favorite airline, and they serve a really delish mimosa that helps take the edge off.

-I've never flown first class and it's one of my goals in 2013.

-I go to sleep before 10pm pretty much every night. I need a solid 8-9 hours of sleep to function properly, but if I'm asleep at 10, waking up at 7, or 7:30 is no big deal.

-I want to have kids before I'm 30. Which is contrary to an earlier point, but in all reality, I cannot wait to have babies.

-I feel like taking vacations as a couple, and only a couple, is an investment in your success as a couple. I try to remind Joel of my theory very often.