What a year.

This year I've experienced the greatest of blessings and the greatest of losses. To be honest, I'm still wrapping my head around both.

Some days, I can't even believe the good fortune that has been bestowed upon me, while other days I cannot comprehend why my Aunt Peggy isn't here.  Why her children have to grow up motherless, and why my family has to suffer this enormous grief.

While today is a happy day, and a reflective day, there is a large piece of my heart that aches. However, through this experience, I have brutally found out that tomorrow is never guaranteed ands.  while Thanksgiving is a tremendous reminder to take stock in your good fortune, it would be wise of us all to practice this daily.

 

-I am so thankful for my mom and dad this year. Words aren't going to do this one justice, but I hope that they know that me and my sisters saw everything they did this year. We noticed it all. We were proud to call you ours. We will never forget any of it, and we will never be the same because of it.

-I am thankful to have a fiance! My boyfriend of five years, Joel, proposed to me on June 9th. I cannot wait to marry him in 2013 and I am thankful for everything that he is for me.

-I am thankful for my sisters. We've been through a lot this year and they are really the only people that get it. I've realized this year, more than any year before, how valuable they really are. Unlike with friends, I'm 100% authentic with them, and they are with me. We give each other our best, and our worst, and no matter what, we will always, always be there for each other. 

-I am thankful for my puppy Roscoe. Roscoe has brought more joy to my house than I could have ever imagined. During times of loneliness and sadness, Roscoe has sometimes the only thing that can bring me out of my hole. He has taught Joel and I to be a family, and it's been so fun sharing him with Joel.

-I am thankful for Los Angeles. Never would I have thought that this year would include a cross country move, but I am so, beyond, grateful for it. It's been the adventure that I needed. The experiences that I was lacking and the change of pace that allowed me to see what I really want from life. The constant presence of sun, and water, and mountains has done wonders for me, and I really think I'm here because of divine intervention.

-I am thankful for new friends, and old. With the move, I had to re-learn how to make friends. How to go on "blind dates" and how to start from scratch with people who don't know my past. I've created lifelong friendships and bonds with people I've only known for six months. And on the flip side, I've cherished my friends back home. I feel so at comfort when I catch up with friends in Iowa or Chicago, or when my girls come to visit me. And especially my bridesmaids.

-I am thankful for wine. Obviously.

-I am thankful for our home. Our new apartment feels like a real home, and I am so thankful for it. I love tending to my little garden, and making dinners for our family, and putting out Christmas decorations. I love coming home to this place.

-I am thankful that I signed up for the 10k turkey trot this year (in the mountains) and ran it! My 8th annual turkey trot. 

-I am thankful for the ability to travel. Thankful that I can go home whenever I want, or even pop into the car and drive an hour to Santa Barbara. It's nice to get away sometimes.

-I am thankful for food. I've been getting much better in the kitchen this year (thanks to Pintrest) and it's been something I've grown to really, really enjoy. And on the flip side, I love nights out on the town where I don't have to cook.

-I am thankful for my job. I am thankful that it gives me the flexibility where I can cook, and I can enjoy this beautiful weather in California. I am so thankful for the option to work from home whenever I want, and to go into the office when I need to get out of the house. My job has been an enormous blessing.

-I am thankful for my soon to be in-law family. Joel's parents are amazing, and have been everything and more you could ask for. Plus, I get to inherit two brothers with amazing wives and one nephew!

-I am thankful for Skype. With one sister in Spain, one in Kentucky, a friend in South Korea, and my family in Chicago - it is so amazing to actually see them.

-I am thankful that I am spending this Thanksgiving with a group of friends in LA that feel like family.