Wedding Wednesday

This week's topic: 
The Guest List

I never really realized how quickly you have to make a guest list in order to plan a wedding. Everything is dependent on the number of guests that you plan on hosting from the venue, to the ceremony, down to the invites.

The more weddings I attend, the more confident in say that the less people you have at your wedding the better it is.  It's more intimate, the dance floor is more open, and the line for the bar isn't so painfully slow.

Joel and I have big, big families and we like to think a lot of friends so we are not going to have the luxury of keep it intimate and at this point I'm just hoping to keep it under 250.

And of course, the more people you have, the more money you have to shell out. Since I do not have an unlimited budget, I've got to slim the list somewhere.

There is just no way that I can invite every single person I've ever met to my wedding (repeat this Tess, repeat this), so I'm using these tips to help me narrow it down.
  • Dates:  At the end of the day, its my wedding, and I want people at my wedding that I know. And that know me. That means I'm not allowing my 18 year old cousins bring dates. 
  • Kids: I'm still really unsure about having young kids at my wedding. I'm seriously 50/50 on the issue. On one hand, I love kids and they're so stinking cute in pictures and on the dance floor, but I don't envision looking out at my tables of ten and seeing high chairs...or having to serve mac'n'cheese 
  • Work: It can be really tricky when you open up the flood gates to inviting co-workers so I will not be inviting any. I don't have a very close work atmosphere anymore, so this one will be pretty easy for me in all actuality. Joel's office is small (only 8 people) so we actually lucked out on this one.
  • Will we know them in 5 years? If the answer is no, there's not a real use in having them....right?
I know it's inevitable that someone out there is going to have hurt feelings, but hopefully I'll be able to keep the drama to a minimum.....

And if all else fails, I'll be going forward with this rule. 


  1. Ohh man I'm ready for the ring so I can start joining you for wedding wednesdays.

    Don't tell Mr. RH.

    The two of us have actually already worked on our guest lists. Mine is 99% complete, so yay. His is on a post it. Mine is entered in a google spreadsheet.

    The coworker thing is stressing me out. I'm just not sure - how do you choose? I have a new boss and new co-manager - neither of which I want to invite. However, some of the old girls that I've known forever? Hell yeah I want them there.

    As for the kids, I don't have a choice. Mr. RH has 5 nieces and 3 more (1 girl, 2 unknown) on the way, and I can't imagine the wedding without them.

    I am stressed with getting the nice mix of people because I want dancing. I went to a wedding 2 weeks ago and dancing was all but non-existant. She had maybe 7 people in their 20s there - so awkward.

    Dates.... I don't think anyone will try to bring one to mine. Mostly because 99% of the attendees are out-of-towners.

    Ohh man, this comment is a BOOK.

  2. We didn't invite kids to the reception and we received some major drama because of it. I didn't care b/c I envisioned my reception with adults enjoying themselves on the dance floor without kids running around taking over. I've been to so many weddings where the kids, cute as they can be, invade the dance floor. Often times the parents can't relax b/c they're so busy keeping up with their kids who are ever so excited to be there. Also, I've been to a lot of weddings where adults didn't dance b/c the kids were running around the dance floor like crazy. We set up a babysitter for all the flower girls away from the reception and no other children were invited to the wedding. I think you should just do what you and Joel want (and your parents if they are helping pay).

  3. I say NO KIDS! the last wedding I went to one of them was crying in the middle of the vows! Plus.. it will be more fun for their parents. They can get a sitter and have a night out just them!

  4. The guest list remains the most stressful part of the planning process! I'm like you- I want to invite everyone I come across, acquaintances, etc. Thankfully Andrew is the reasonable one. We're not having kids, besides his 3 year old nephew. And no singles can bring dates- which I'm sure I'll hear about- but it's too much with the numbers! Good luck! :)

  5. My sister didn't have kids since we don't really have many in our families...except the flower girl was there. Seemed like a good atmosphere but I think it could go either way!

  6. Definitely cut out the kids. I think the best thing to do is mention that the hotel offers babysitters (I'm guessing your venue does?) and either offer to pay for a babysitter for the kids (like a group thing). My employers had a kid room at their wedding because they have big families with lots of kids. They hired babysitters, had special activities and a kid menu. Most of the kids ended up with their parents because they knew they were in the other room. Not worth it!

  7. I totally never even thought about the fact that in order to finalize pretty much ANYTHING, you need to know near exact numbers. Crazy! As for who to leave off the guest list, I don't really have any tangible advice. Other than to say, invite who you both want and envision as being a part of your wedding and treat those who that negatively affects with as much patience and respect as possible.