Rambling Thoughts

::: Hearing the baby start to stir on the monitor is like one of the scariest things ever. I don't know why, but I actually feel fear every time he starts to break from a nap.

::: So, on Saturday night, I introduced two ounces of formula into Leo's 8oz bottle. (We're using Holle formula, if you're looking for one, its supposed to be one of the best). I have a few solo trips coming up, and not enough milk, so I need to make sure he can be fed by other people. He took the bottle down fine, but I had to take him to the doctor yesterday because he has a rash. Not sure if its the formula, or a heat rash from our hike on Sunday, and it doesn't seem to bother him, but its all over. The doc doesn't think it looks like an allergic reaction, but we're pulling the formula until it clears up just to be sure.

::: The rash also gave me major guilt because I feel like, maybe I shouldn't be going away, maybe I should be nursing more, pumping more, producing more....that whole thing....

::: My birthday and mother's day fall on the same day this year and to celebrate, one of my girlfriends and I are reallllllly trying to zip down to Mexico for a 3 night vacay! My sister is going to come to help Joel out with Leo, and I'm going to take full advantage of my first trip solo. I'm ready for a little break and literally counting down the days and dreaming of sleep, sand, and sun! 

::: My new favorite blog is HappilyEvaAfter.com - and her snapchat (same name) is even better. It has quickly turned into one of the few daily reads for me.

::: I've never really been that obsessed with the Bachelor, but this season has me hooked! I actually like all three of the final contestants (two as of today, I guess), and I think Ben is absolutely adorable.

::: March is a big month, we have a REALLY exciting dinner this Thursday (more deets to come), Leo's baptism, a wedding, a few showers, and we'll be spending 15 days in Chicago! I'm really excited for every event, but I'm in a RAGE with everything I own in my closet - which brings me into a rage with the fact that I still have 8 pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight.

::: During my pregnancy I dealt with a lot of anxiety - and in turn - every time I went to the doctors office, I had high blood pressure. I became afraid of getting my blood pressure taken and would literally panic whenever it came time to take my vitals. When I left the hospital with Leo, I was still really scared about blood pressure, and wanted to monitor it, so I made Joel buy a machine to test it at home. My anxiety is much better now - and so is my blood pressure - but I still test it every single day. It's probably not the healthiest way to deal with it because its a little compulsive, but now it's a game at how low of a reading I can get. 

::: Lately I've found myself in situations that I don't like, only because I have this obnoxious desire to BE liked. I feel like sometimes I force relationships with people I don't even like, only because I can't stand that maybe they just don't like me either? Not sure if its an ego thing, or what, but I'm really working on trying to not give a shit if people like me or not. 

::: I miss blogging like I used to, when I felt like I had a little creative outlet, but now when I go to blog I feel like I don't have a lot to bring to the table. I don't necessarily have unique content, our weekends look similar week after week, and the free time I have, I often want to just sit on the couch with a glass of wine and not do anything.

::: We're trying to cook at home for dinner at least 6 nights a week, and so far, so good! We are on our 4th week! I should start keeping track of some of my recent favorites and maybe even blog about it! ;)

::: This month my little baby will turn six months! HOW?!!?!?! Time really is moving at warp speed, but I think its because when you are around babies, you can actually see time.

::: I'm planning my cousin's Bachelorette party for this fall in Austin, Texas! We are going with a big group of girls and are looking to rent a big house with a pool. Any recommendations on can't-miss things to do in Austin?

::: I much prefer snapchat (tshields622) to Instagram (@teatimewithtess)- I never thought I would say that....but its the truth. Now, instagram pretty much bores me.

::: I'm more excited than I should be to make Leo's Easter basket this year! I ordered a darling little basket that I'm stalking the tracking info for and want to fill with lots of spring and summer goodys. We are driving down to San Diego for the holiday, but I'm taking it with us regardless of how nonsensical is may be (joel!). 

 

Ok, thats all I got for this week! 

Happy March!