popping in

• Cancer is a tornado that comes into your family's life and just spins, and spins, and spins, until everyone is completely torn up. 

• I do have to say that I have really been taught a positive lesson during this whole experience. The amount of people that have shown up to spread love and support have been the best part of this entire thing. My aunt has 30 cards in the mail everyday, flowers being delivered on the regular, people stopping by to offer food and hugs....I've truly seen the kindness that is in people. The love for one another. And I know, that when I have a friend, or a friend of a friend that gets sick, I'll know how to appreciate them, shower them with love, and show up when you have to.

• And since I'm on this tangent, WOW is life fragile. and WOW is family critical to survival. No matter what happens during all of this, my relationships with my parents and sisters will be forever stronger. I've seen strength in my grandparents I didn't know existed...I've talked to my cousins to just vent and cry three times a day. My mom's family is very, very tight, whereas my Dad's is not. Life is too short not to talk to your brothers or sisters, because when you need them no one can replace the support of family. We couldn't do this without our family village and I feel so grateful to have them in my life.

• My aunt has pancreatic cancer and can use all of the love you can give, if you know me personally, please feel free to visit this site for updates: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/peggymarino - you will need to sign up and give your email, but we will be updating as often as we can

• I'm moving to California on Sunday! My mom and I are flying together (on Virgin, of course) and we will spend some time together getting my apartment organized and decorated. I think it's going to be a really nice thing for my mom to put her energy into something different for a couple of days.

• In a very guilty way, I'm excited to get to California now. If for anything at all, to escape. To clear my head and try and move forward with my life - but then, I have trouble feeling that because my Aunt Peggy doesn't get to escape her reality, either can her kids or her husband, and I'm really struggling with that, because they want nothing more in life, than to go back 5 weeks ago when she was healthy, joyful, energetic, and herself.

• I'm trying to get in tiny bursts of exercise wherever I can. My aunt lives about a mile away from our house so I try to run there at least once a day.

• But, we are eating a lot of takeout food and drinking a lot of wine, so I'm a little nervous to face the scale.

• My sister Nellie came in from Kentucky last night and Hannah is driving home from Iowa tomorrow morning. I'm really excited that I'll get to spend some time with them before I head to the west coast.

• I spend a LOT of time checking out rescue sites for puppies in California. I keep telling Joel that I'm going to need a happy, snuggle face. I should probably be spending that time looking for jobs.

• Yesterday it was almost 60 degrees in Chicago during the day, and then it snowed around 5pm. I'm not going to miss that!