My thoughts on caring too much.

It's both a blessing and a curse.. 
I was scrolling through pintrest and this quote stopped me dead in my tracks.

I've been struggling with this exact.... feeling...for a while now. Maybe even months. 
Probably since I lost my Aunt Peggy.

I feel like I've grown up a lot in the last few years, I've started to understand true love and started to learn how to really love people.

 I'll get off the phone with my sister, and my heart will ache because of how much I love her. I get voicemails from my Grandma that make me cry. I found myself sitting at the Thanksgiving day table with gratitude that hurt.

And my friends....don't even get me started. Moving away has taught me a lot about friends. My best friends in Chicago are cherished gold to me. I wouldn't be able to live without them. And my friends here in California, they became my family. 

But, with all of this, comes such burden. I carry the worries, pitfalls, and issues of about fifty people. And it's exhausting.

My sister called me this week with school problems. She just needed to vent. But, I carry her pain with me for days - long after she stopped caring about them. I want so desperatley to take it away from her that I start to tell myself I wish I didn't care, because I'm powerless.

My mom carries such deep grief after losing her sister and best friend, and I'll never be able to fill that void for her. I'll never be able to fix it.

So, sometimes, I wish I just didn't care.

Not caring means that I don't get hurt. 

Not loving means I'll never feel loss.

And, well, I guess my point is that, true love is really, really scary. 
The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief. But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of ever risking love.


  1. UGH.. I share your pain.. I want so badly to be able to "fix" everyone and everything.. I'm so impatient and want it done the way I want it and RIGHT NOW! My thoughts are with you, friend!

  2. I love this post so much because it resonates with me so closely! Wow. I, too, feel similarly to you and have so many wonderful people in my life that I love so, so much. Thanks for sharing - it's hard to articulate or put into words, but that first quote hits the nail on the head!

  3. I don't think a post has spoken to me as much as this one did today. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Woof, this hits right in the heart. I think it's hard to anyone outside your own brain to understand how you can literally be worrying/thinking about ten other people's problems, and not even your own. Until they bring it up.

    Woof. Hugs.

  5. People (including my parents) always made fun of me for caring (and worrying) so much about everyone and everything. This made me feel even worse.

    But guess what, there is a term for this. It is called being an HSP, a highly sensitive person. You can read more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person

    It makes feeling the way I often feel just a little bit easier.

    Love, S.

  6. Your care for others shows how much you love them and how compassionate you are! I'm sure it can be a stress at times but its also a lovely quality to have such care and concern for others! Hope you have a great rest of the week love!

  7. Such a sweet post (by a very sweet person). Love that quote.