Bad Mom Confessions

I just saw Bad Mom's in the the theater this past weekend and found it SO refreshing.

Just because you got your baby to sleep through the night at week 3 or your four month old is walking and talking, it really doesn't make you any better than the mom next door whose ten year old is still waking up twice a night. 

I think its really easy to feel proud, and come off as an expert, but this movie really reminded me that we're all doing the absolute best that we can. 

It also reminded me to not lose sight of what is truly important when raising kids: kind, happy, good people. 

But, in the spirit of being a bad mom...I thought I would share a few confessions lately just to make sure you know that we're not always at baby classes or swim lessons, or whatever else I've shown on here to make you think that you should do more - because that is total bullshit if I've ever made you feel that way.

 coffee and wine, sweetheart:

:::Unless Leo's crib sheet is like dripping in pee, I let the small pee stain dry and put him at the opposite end of the crib for his next nap. We don't have in-unit laundry and his pee is basically water.

::: I've convinced Joel that Leo only needs a bath every 3rd or 4th night because his skin can get really dry.  Leo's eczema flare up is gone but I'm sticking by my sentiment because the bath just adds twenty extra minutes to his bedtime routine and I don't feel like doing it every other night.

::: Speaking of bedtime routine, Leo lately has been playing in his crib for almost 45 minutes at night. but there is no way I'm stretching his bedtime....by 7pm, I need to clock out.

::: I sleep with earplugs in and many, many times have forgotten to turn the monitor on at night

::: Leo is always dressed adorably, and I always look like his underpaid nanny. 

::: Roscoe is somewhat like another toddler in the house, and I end up screaming at him to stop barking at least 100x a day, so now he takes naps when Leo does too. He goes into his kennel in one room, and Leo goes into his crib in the other, and I relish in the silence as best as I possible can.

::: I had to try on bathing suits at target this week with Leo in tow, and struck gold with getting the extra large dressing room so Leo could crawl around the floor.  All was perfect until I found him sucking on the door stopper that had chewed gum on it!!!!!!!

::: I'm trying everyday to get Leo to like a TV show. I would love it if he would sit and watch Paw Patrol while I jump in a ten minute shower, but he has no interest at all. It would also be VERY handy while we travel if he would watch something for a few minutes so I'm literally training him with a few minutes each day

::: Every day during Leo's nap, I take the dog outside. (Mom, DON'T FREAK OUT!). I always lock the door, take my keys and the monitor, and let Joel know when I leave and when I come back. I stay right in front of our building and go outside for like 4 minutes, but it sort of thrills me in a sick way each day I do it.

::: We switched cleaning ladies recently and our new one isn't half as good as our old one (and more expensive), but she does our laundry and folds it, and I will clean up after she leaves to prove to Joel that she is way worth the money. I hate laundry that much.

::: Very few days of the week do I wait for 5pm to have a beer or a glass of wine

::: In that vain, I feel like I day drink more now than I ever have in my entire life. These mom play groups or lunches after a class very rarely don't include a drink.

::: Every single day I try and get Leo to learn a new trick, because it gives me anxiety that I'm not teaching him enough. Like, how long do you practice "blow a kiss"? I've sat in front of him for two weeks trying to get him to attempt it with no luck. And that sometimes worries me.....am I a bad teacher? Is Leo a bad student?

::: I'm on my phone WAY too much during the day, and I feel a lot of guilt about it, but I get freaking bored.

::: I don't really flinch at crying. I've always been totally ok with letting Leo cry it out. Unless he is screaming in pain, he's staying in his crib until 6:30am every morning. And, I get car sick in the back seat, so there is no way I'm sitting back there either. Some of my girlfriends literally run into the bedroom when their babe starts to whine, and I sort of wonder if maybe I'm too tough!


I'm sure if you asked Leo, he could give you about 15 more confessions, but lets just keep it at this for today!

Don't leave me hanging here...........cough up a confession to make me feel a tiny bit better about my parenting skills!!!!


  1. My favorite post yet. No joke. TV became much more interesting at 12 months. And I use it way too often so I can get stuff done. Also same feeling when we lived in the condo and I had to run down to the car to get something. Lol!

  2. OMG I love this and I'm dying to see Bad Moms. Leaving my baby sleeping while going 7 floors downstairs in our Destin condo? YEP. Forcing television on my 11 month old?? YOU BET. Me on the computer or phone while I sit there and expect 11 month old to entertain herself or with her brother?? YOU KNOW IT. And do I have someone that comes twice a month strictly to do laundry and some ironing? YES MAM! And do you think any laundry gets done in between those two weeks?? NO way. Maybe a few towels. :)

  3. We're pretty TV-free for Z during the week (especially during school), but sometimes after dinner if J and I just want to sit and digest and talk at the table, we're like "OK! Disney Channel! Turn it up loud! BYE!" and let her go to town. It's a good companion when sometimes we just want to have a kid-free 30 minute discussion.

    1. Oh and since I've hired a cleaning crew that comes every 2 weeks? I ... NEVER clean. I do laundry (I actually like it... putting it away is my problem). J does dishes most night and I will wipe up countertops but otherwise, I live in squalor. (I kid I kid, but I haven't picked up a toilet brush or a bottle of bleach since May. #blessed)

  4. Yes, yes, yes! We are all doing the best we can, and most days that is out of this world awesome. I love that the conversation can also include a little about the days/moments that are just hanging on! Shhh - there are days when I am secretly gleeful about returning to work on Monday (I am lucky to work part-time, but kudos to those who stay home full-time). Sometimes when it is too quiet and I know that my two sons are up to no good - I just wait a few minutes (and maybe turn on the TV). I give out way too many suckers - just to keep the peace. My son has two favorite shirts, and yes, I allow him to pull them from the dirty clothes basket - once again, just to keep the peace (it is all about the peace). When my youngest first started being interested in Daniel Tiger I felt liberated. Oh, I could go on and on - but it must be time to get out the quantum physics books and settle in for our daily enrichment - what, don't you do that, too?!?! Cheers!

  5. Bad Moms was hysterical! My little boy loved Baby First TV as an infant and toddler. Great post!

  6. This post makes me feel so much better. I am definitely guilty of the crib sheet thing too and don't do a nightly bath either!

  7. I just cried laughing reading this. Best post EVER. The pee on the crib sheet = me, and I'm pretty sure Cameron is going on day 4 without a bath.

  8. First of all- I LOVE YOU and I LOVE THIS POST! You are a rockstar Mom and are one of my "mom role models". Seriously, though! You are doing everything right and you better believe I will have you on speed dial when I am lucky enough to have a mini me! XOXO

  9. Loved these!! I can tune out Oliver's whines easily but Theo can't and it drives him insane! I'm like get used to it, he's a kid! And he needs to learn patience! I'm on my phone way too much on my days off when it's just Oliver and I. I literally have to hide it in another room to make sure I stay off of it! I hate that! I feel ya on the baths. I just hate doing them so unless Oliver has dirt on him I I'll wait a night. And baby wipes are great for a quick clean up!

  10. YESSSSSSSSSS to all of yours!!! Seriously like every single one I was like Yep, me too.

  11. LOVE this. First of all, Bad Moms was so good - I already want to see it again! And I have been feeling guilty for being on my phone/watching TV a lot when I read all these articles about how you shouldn't this stuff around newborns blah blah, but like what else am I supposed to do all day when she's just sleeping and eating?! And I give her a bath every night, but for the opposite reason... because it's pretty much the only thing that will stop her every evening freak outs, ha!

  12. Have you double wrapped your crib sheets ever? Honestly, dealing with a wet crib sheet in the middle of the night is straight torture, but since I started double wrapping mine (fitted sheet, crib sheet, fitted sheet, crib sheet) it has made such a difference. Also, we double wrap Tripp's diaper sometimes bc the tee tee monster was attacking us like evvvvery night. Both have been a huge help.

    And the new trick thing killed me too. I was like dang every other baby I see can do this or that and Tripp can't. Was I slacking or was he not learning like he should. Stressed me out, but over it now bc he can blow kisses and wave bye bye, and say, no mommy(!)(ugh) with the best of them now.

    And Tripp lay in the airport floor for a solid 10 minutes this past weekend....don't feel bad about the Target dressing room.

    Bad Moms Unite! ;)

  13. Love your list and totally identity!

  14. For what it's worth, I think you are rocking this mom gig and you're one of the first people I reach out to when I have a question. So there!! I know you are well on your way to raising a happy, well adjusted and kind little boy.
    Also, the fact that you make these nutritious, well balanced dinners each night?? Sheesh. My goal is seriously to be more Tess like.
    AND, the gum in the target dressing room is hilarious. When my brother and I were little and my parents took us out to dinner, my brother used to crawl under the table and pull the gum that people stick under there and put it in his mouth. This happened repeatedly. And my brother managed to grow up to be 6'4" and no sign of permanent damage. LOL

  15. YouTube little baby bum..the only thing my child will sit and watch. It's a life saver but now I also have to keep my iPad hidden or prepare for a meltdown.